You are with Me Every Single Day

Letters to her -1

Hey,

I have been doing an experiment lately. Living in a feeling of abundance. Rather than scarcity. I mean assuming that I already have those things I desire to show up in my life.

Such as you. I have been reading a lot of healthy ways to manage my inner turmoil. And accept life as it is.

I do not want to go back and keep myself stuck in analysis paralysis. Back-fit explanations and forward projections always troubled me. Even now every single day I find myself doing that in inner monologues.

Living with the feeling things that I want in my life, living in mental space of I already have everything — improving my day to day life experiences.

But this is what it is and I have accepted life as it is. And preparing myself for a new beginning. What is a silver lining in my story — I do not know. I also do not want to know either anymore.

I am reading, reflecting within on a day to day basis and working to build a better something out of me. So that I can give the new me to the one who will accept me as I am. Also will give me the opportunity to work on my human flaws. You already know that.

Emotional Neediness, trust issues, insecurity. Or in general words the feeling of not enough. And problems with processing unpleasant feelings.

Its been a great year so far. I am cultivating my own wisdom rather than borrowing it from someone else.

Also trying to develop the ability to be my side, not needing nothing from the outer world. The worthiness of being enough.

“I am whole, I need nothing”- kind of making sense to me day by day.

Please accept heartfelt gratitude for everything.

Best

Shihab