What it is About Her?

An Ordinary Human Beings Journal

I am in a fantasy relationship for a while for an image I have created in my mind for a specific person. Recently I have been taking therapy to know digging deep within why I am taking so much time to move on from it. I am introspecting mostly about two questions, what is it about her? And fantasy and vs reality.

We were a good team

We have worked together on a project for a long time. I really loved working with her. I enjoyed her dedication and consistency.

I could generate ideas about almost anything and she was good in execution. And we had a lot of complementing qualities to form a team. It sustained for a period of two-plus years. I was thinking maybe we could extend to life, a larger project. But she did not, still does not think way.

Two Team members need to be equal

In the project called life, mates consider themselves equal. Or at least find a common ground. Right now she feels a lot superior to me. Her statements like “Why did you ever thought you have a chance with me?” or blocking, deleting me reflects that.

This makes me think again, did she ever thought me equal on any grounds? I have interviewed many couples from my known networks after that. My findings are,

Two human beings cannot be equal on all grounds, it is impossible.

But when they form a long term partnership there needs to be a common ground. That sense of equality, where they stand together.

I am writing this as I am experiencing a lot of fantasies of our mutual birthday that is coming on 17th July. My intention is not to act on them. And let higher power or something bigger than us takeover.