What is it about her?

Is it the challenge or being a good team| An ordinary human beings journal

I thought she understands and accepts whole of me, and I did the vice versa. But I do not know was it true or my delusion.

She is smart and intelligent. She has photographic memory, good with languages and she can understand the underlying truth behind my messages, I felt close to her when we talked.

I also felt connected with her so much in our conversations but romanticism corrupted all of these.

My therapist has given me assignment, that after being 1.5 years passed why I am still holding on to her? To be noted she said to me goodbye in January 2020.

Recently I was talking seriously with another woman. She seemed cool and interested about long term commitment. But in my inner mind, I felt like even I get involved or marry this women, I want myself to be available for this past qualifier, if she comes back ever. How ridiculous is it, right?

And that would be unethical for this new women.

Good things about her, I loved her vulnerability, professionalism and for staying true to commitments. I also disliked her superiority complex, I guess which I contributed a lot to form by praising overly, narcissism and not being able to understand social cues.

But good things she had given me, keeps myself still awaiting for her.

Relationships are areas of grey. There is no right or wrong. People who stay together, they forgave each other and took the vow to work on it.

I do not know what is her maximum threshold of forgiveness, but I forgave both of us. And if mother nature have plans I hope she will come back. But I am also looking forward in future prospects and taking practical steps to move forward with my life and relationships.

Best

Shihab

26th June, 2021