Taking Control

Extreme Ownership : My Writing Therapy Day 3

I have been trying to take control and ownership of my life, my feelings and my deeds, doing what I can to take extreme control of what is happening with my life — — Everyday.

If I look at very closely very small number of things that happens randomly, life’s vicissitudes or random events which I would say. But I am prepared for almost everything. I need to stop looking help outside in other people, in other human beings to come and rescue me.

I am here, with myself, I can comfort myself when I am sad, I can do things with myself when I am lonely.

Few of the things I need to work very closely … are processing this emotions and let myself be whole..

a- Fear — Letting go

b- Anxiety —Resolving the matter that is making me anxious

c- Stress — Be whole and full

d- Shame — Be myself with courage and boldness

e- Blame and Complaining — Talking straight rather blaming and complaining to others or forgiving myself/others or letting go

f- People Pleasing — Speak from my own heart, speaking my own truth honestly with audacity and bravery.

I can do this, I know I am a bit nervous, so all the other human beings out there. Everyone is fearful for losing something … This is what life is.

I have couple more hours today left to make it happen.. Today I am gonna divide all the things I do in two portions ..

1- Habits — things I do automatically..

a- Good Habits I want to create in myself

b- Bad Habits I want to get rid off

2- Projects — Project list and things I can focus at a time, taking ownership and Control

3- Disciplining Emotions and Processing as my own

a- Positive Owns — If I need others invite them to join in

b- Negative Owns — Process alone, nobody wants to hear others sore sob stories of pity party, sorrows, excuses or how life has treated them badly etc.

And observe myself very closely what I can do and what I cannot. Such as Habits probably want to take some time to form, but I want to observe myself to see how much time I need to form an automatic thing to do.

And on the projects thing —

• I want to see how many projects I can give my whole self at a time
• And get rid of my fear of datelines, inconsistency
• Finally Creating Focus.

In the disciplining emotions, I want to bring more wholeness in my life, I know there will be a lot of downtimes, or things will not go according to my plan such as today I left my water bottle, food kit at home.

But its okay during that time I will forgive myself, I will re-asses all my failures and come back Inshallah.

Let it Begin … the Journey to Greatness.. I will overcome … We Shall overcome( as Sung by my brother)…

Shihab Uddin

26th September, 2019