Sanity Is an Inside Job

Its all in my inner mind -Jan 2020 1

I have been trying to understand what goes on inside my inner mind and take control of the schizo effect inside it. But probably it will take a lot of time. I am not depending on the antipsychotics that much lately, once in a while I take some sleeping pills to help me to sleep. But that is also rare.

Vipassana or buddhist form of silent meditation is helping me to ground myself, but I haven’t really put that into practice that much. My journey of sanity or influence will take a bit of time I assume, probably the whole year.

I was observing my mind from this morning and found a lot of things going internally .. such as forward projection and later an external trigger which I invoked, and I have decided today that I will take control of inner and outer at least for the eight hours of work period at the library.

Anyways writing or noting down always helps to gain the knowledge at thinking level but the most important is to feel and act on it.

Hopefully I will be able to do it .. Or I ?

I don’t know … That’s what I had for now.

Shihab Uddin

January 5, 2020