More Guilt Free, and Less Thinking

And Giving thyself permission to ask: My Writing Therapy Day 13

I left my flask yesterday at the library, my head was kind of bursting due to not being able to sleep properly the earlier night. But I was here, I shouted a little bit on myself for my forgetful-ness, in fact I gave big shout.

Then I controlled myself, held myself together, watched the unfinished. It was a romantic one, A guy kind of challenges to pursue a girl and then throw away out of frustration of being rejected. The boy’s character is kind of iconic, a persona with full of charisma, the girl was more of an ordinary girl who always tried to fulfil her parents specifically her left alone mom and all on a sudden after finding this guy, she feels confident, finds herself to be someone she wanted. In fact she hurts her mom and dumps her because of thing guy.

Also dumps the nice guy boyfriend who has been around her from childhood, not talking advantage of her innocence, doing anything hurtful things to her.

In the language of the New boyfriend, “Boring=Nice”, I kind of felt a lot myself in the boring old boyfriend, where in one of the last scenes, the girl went’s to the guy and says’

“I didn’t meant to hurt you” and I I loved the guys reply there,

“I know, we found out who we are — in our walks of life”. I was thinking about about being nice = boring, being kind or remaining in boundaries kind of feels like the guy to be used to as a tool?

What’s the difference between a Gold digger and a prostitute?

I find the Gold digger worst, at least a Prostitute does not harms her clients and leave any emotional trauma.

But the Gold digger leaves aside a lot of victims and a lot of emotional trauma, wounds….

I read in a book lately.. It’s vicious out there, there’s plenty of wounded Adults out there who are trying to pass the wound out there.

Such as I have feeling all the wounds that were passed to me because of the souls were prior damaged, wounded from someone else.

Anyways the good news is — I found my flask this morning in the Lost and Found Section. I agreed to help a friend with 300 K, he is going through some tough time, he said he will give back within a year but its okay.

Every morning a spent sometime to find some music for the day but I am happy that I am here, to do something, to make something of it…to do my free flow of writing…

Life feels good, amazing ..

Shihab Uddin

6th October, 2019