Love is Strange

And Quite Volatile

I am a quite rational human being and I think always through my brain, quite relevantly validated by logic’s, data and personal experiences. Currently I am spending my thirtieth year on this stupid planet. So, based on previous data and family heredity most probably I may live healthy next 20 something years or so.

That means I need to get married soon or find someone to settle down very soon. In fact I have been doing this search from last seven years or so and approached more than a dozen women about this. I cannot hide my feelings, If I like someone or If I see a possibility I always tried, although all of them or most of them resulted in vain. But I don’t have any regret for this because I just wanted to try and I have no power to hold someone without their wish or desire.

And in this matter I am mostly looking for commitment now-a-days or virtue of being attached with someone for long time or have similar mindset and looks that I can be okay for the rest of my lifetime. I think feelings are quite volatile, we may like someone for sometime and then again may dislike some another time, so its quite intangible to rely on.

Most important thing is the mindset to endure and remain stagnant with that person, considering so many things may go wrong with that person, that I may need to help him to correct. I am also trying to possess similar mindset. And I am not into romantic bullshit or falsifying what I am not and luring someone into me.

I will always discuss with people who are interested or willing to have a conversation cause earlier I tried to approach people who are not serious and it ended up creating a lot of humiliation for me.

So, far that’s what I am feeling about mating or marriage or settling down. And I feel quite ready now emotionally, economically or physically for it.

— Journal on 21st October, 2018