I Plummeted Yesterday

And Hit my brother, also harmed to myself: No Blue November Day 14

I binged on rice yesterday during the daytime, was kind of feeling odd later at the evening while at the GYM. Although I finished all steps off my daily workout, but did Cardio ones for only ten reps, as I was running low on time.

Anyways, my irritable bowel syndrome notifies me every-time or helps me in the journey of reducing weight or being in shape. I reminded myself that I need to stop eating voraciously, rather eat slowly in small chunks, small bites and smaller portions after every two or three hours.

But most worst highlight of Yesterday was, my brother did not finish his meal, he left it half-eaten, later after gym I tried to force him or manipulate him to eat it, but he took the food and vomited. He was deluded that it was not good food, or specifically it was shit.

Then I lost control, hit him, he also hit me back, I had quite a few bruises about it. Later I gave him some biscuits, banana and medicine.

But the lesson was not forcing him physically and secondly not losing control in this situations.

Later I could not sleep for a while, I was being fearful whether he hits me back while I am sleeping, once I thought of shutting the door, but I didn’t and saw several videos about Schizophrenia, How I can be more aware of himself and me, finally I had a good nights sleep. I woke up with the alarm though, later was fully awake when my cook cum maid finished full cooking.

Overall lesson of yesterday was not forcing, letting him be and not losing control.

with those on a wonderful Friday Morning..

Shihab Uddin

15th November, 2019