I plummet and Seek Refuge Within

Is judgement worth it? | An Ordinary Human Beings Journal

Every day I indulge myself in some unhealthy practices. Then I feel guilty and start beating myself. My therapist was saying, You are constantly analyzing yourself, it is a good thing but it is also a double edge sword.

Such as the guilt and shame spiral I go into afterwards. A lot of things are going on inside my inner mind. Most important question is, how I am gonna spend the rest of the time I have left on the planet.

I do not know yet, but I want to live it as gently I can protect my inner calm and as much peacefully possible.

Still, I do not know how, But I am not also focusing on the bigger picture or big goals, just focusing on the current day…But My mind still projects too much forward in a lot of areas. I was trying to meditate and work out this morning, thus reduce my acting out with technology, food and other behaviours.

A mashup starting from 5 minutes meditation, 5 minutes workout increasing up to 30 minutes was the target. I ended up quitting at 20 minutes. But I did accomplish something. Not much though.

I love myself, no matter how stupid, ignorant or biased I am.

I am here, standing tall for myself, with what I have this moment and that is enough for the time being.

With very best to the world and universe and all the good wishes for everything around

Shihab