I have been waiting

I am in front of intensive care unit

My sisters there, me and schizo brother outside

We are awaiting, mom in home, in relapse

I don’t know what to do,

People say me responsible,but right now

I feel I don’t have anything to say,

Where I barely can take care of myself

Wholehearted is a concept, I pour my whole heart

Grief, shed tears, find little bit of joy

Then I find myself standing for myself

No other else, no other place, no other being

It’s just me standing up for myself and my entire family

With whole heart and sharp and equanimous mind…

Not reaching out fictitious fantasies and such …