I have introduced a new challenge to myself for the next 3 months, in fact, the second quarter of 2020.

The challenge is to go private. I will not post anything publicly and will be fully grounded i.e I will not reach out to anybody and no public activity searchable or such.

Right now the public activity I do is to

  • Post-Videos Online
  • Writing Blogs in Medium and Linkedin
  • Calling People through messenger and Phone, texting via Messenger and
  • Emailing Through outlook.

I will refrain myself to do any such activity in the next 90 days and see the impact on my quality of life.

During this time I will be mostly meditating, working on my health — both mental and physical and practice my muscle of self-discipline.

Today I have been struggling a lot with all my urges, I masturbated quite a few times, feeling bad, then I took pills, did quite a few burpees and push-ups and now feeling a bit better.

I want to get rid of my urges to go online and check for feedback loops in any online portals —

whatever it is youtube, outlook, LinkedIn, messenger, phone.

Mental clarify is the thing I want to achieve, I stayed out of masturbation for 3 weeks then I broke once commitment and it again stayed for about a week or so.

Now I am again back on the track. I guess this is what life it is, trying, failing, again and again, standing up again, not wasting time on why’s rather just going with the flow and be part of the waves.

Shihab

30th March, 2020

An ordinary human being living a quiet life