Enjoying My Own Company

Its been great eight months

Every single day a new challenge to face and work on. But what I have is me on my side. My studies of self-compassion and practice of continuous struggle to cultivate inner harmony helping me a lot.

Life is a learning process, on every moment I learn something about me and the world. These days I do not really reach out to anybody for help or support, when I am in utter neurosis or moment of everything falling apart, I just sit with myself or write or do some water-cooler activities such as Vlogging, Singing a Song or such.

I am trying to understand the difference between a conversation, communication or others. I have been observing what do people talk about or how people communicate with each other. I do not generally communicate with people unless there is a need or if I am meeting someone I am mostly focused on doing some quality activities.

One thing I am trying to self-correct is maintaining strict boundaries and reciprocate as much as other people do in my human relationships..I have suffered a lot for not doing such.

And make a peaceful closure if I see that person is showing disrespect or crossing boundaries, but its very hard living in a society where people are always disrespecting each other and passing foul comment on one or another issue.

I love myself, I am here for myself, In fact I wrote this article above as part of my soothing process. It’s been hard watching my brother suffer, he is been restless for hours, no medication is helping him. I tried to do some drawing with him, but it did not help.

I have stopped faping or masturbating, also I have stopped watching pornography or stimulating things a long ago. Probably I will extend it to a year or so. I want to forget this act for mental clarity and calm.

Its the journey, continuous, daily …bit by bits, moments by moments…I don’t really have anything else to achieve or prove anything. I just have to be, and put in work to preserve my inner peace, harmony.