Dealing with Wild Tantrums

And Healing My Inner Child : No Blue November Day 5

Yesterday I had to take my brother to Hospital, and then to home. Although I employ a caretaker to see him, but he is very hard to manage, and he has very weird and wild tantrums quite often. Sometimes its very unmanageable. One of my friends from college was also visiting town.

Anyways I am trying to understand his tantrums and develop strategies to manage it peacefully, mostly it happens while he is asked to take food, he mistakes it for dirt or something that will harm him. So far the strategy that is working is to calmly observe it and let is pass, rather shouting or forcing him to do anything.

I recalled I had such things while I was a kid too, I had also bitten my mom many times during that, it happens instantly, God, my mom tolerated all of this. She had really tough time raising all of us.

But one funny thing, while we were getting ready this morning, he wore shirt tucked in like me, in fact he was following me. In fact humans like following others, he was doing such, made me happy. I am really happy for him. I just don’t want doctors to do too many experiments with his body and mind, what is called in iatrogenics term “Harm done By Healer”.

One thing I observed this morning, I tend to think about too many tasks at a time and it creates the mess, then I stopped and started mono-tasking and took control of my morning. Today I have an interview call, my ex-boss worked in this company for a while. And its a Mid-level managerial role, and they have called for people up-to age of 60.

Currently I am having all kind of imposter syndrome, I should not go, I should let go, I am not qualified enough for this job, May be they will humiliate me, or eat me alive, I don’t know, you know the feeling… I just learned yesterday Its the reach-back period of any event that may create Anxiety. This happens to me very often, But today I promised myself I will fight it with clarity, calm and Grounding my thoughts, feelings and emotions — — Or in other words let it be.

I don’t know what the hell I will do…. But I am curious about to find..Let’s see…

I am here for myself now and that is enough for the time-being.

With this …

On the Starting of a Wonderful Day.. Oh I was listening to Youval Noah Hurarri in my morning walk today, Oh ..My gosh the guy is amazing, it seems like I need to re-read his whole work again, with a new lens and new mindset. In fact not only his, a lot other books which I have read prior, I don’t know, I don’t have any timeline and I am not feeling any pressure for doing it.. I will do it slowly on my own time and pace.

Shihab Uddin

Dhaka,Bangladesh

November 6,2019