Anger and Low Energy

And fighting All of it

Yesterday I was feeling low energy all day till evening, I struggled a lot to get up from bed. Then kind of worked hard to motivate myself to go to the Interview I had with some Corporate Mobile Service Provider, although I did not have much hopes.

Anyways the lucky thing was, I found $100 bucks in my drawer and I was out of cash, was a bit short of cash. But the fun thing is that it was again kind of got proved that you are never out of options.

Two emotions I am kind of having a lot struggle to process and reactivate my senses.

One — is Anger, its mostly exerted on younger brother and family members, which is really a lot unhealthy.

Two- Negative Attachments to people in the past such as my ex-boss, the women I loved last, I am having a lot of destructive ideas, some are suicidal too.

I know I will never do it, but as I read recently words kind of prophesies our future, so I have to stop thinking about it. I did not took antipsychotic yesterday, I had trouble to sleep though, I don’t know how many times I masturbated to drain my all energy. But I was able to wake up early like before.

In fact I did not struggle at all to wake up.

Life is wonderful, today will be more wonderful as today is a Brand New Day and I have all the tools to make it count.

Journaling on Emotional States

12th September, 2019